13 posts tagged “new york”

For the past three weeks I've been in Oia, a small town on the Greek island of Santorini. More specifically, I've been living and working at Atlantis Books. I've had a fantastic time, and have tons of pictures of the fun: fires on the terrace, jumping off cliffs at night, boat trips around the island, and much more. I can't quite believe that the three weeks are up already, but I don't feel sad. I have a feeling I'll be back here . . .

In about an hour, Pauline and I are leaving for Crete. We'll spend four days there, and then I'm off for a day in Athens, before catching a flight back to Paris. Then I have about 30 hours in Paris, before flying to New York for nine days.

That's right, I'm taking three flights in three days, and will be in five very distinct places within the space of one week. I truly hope my body can handle the constant change and grossness of airplanes . . . Although I guess if I've managed to not get sick while living in the (beautiful but rather) dirty conditions here, I'll be fine.

So, there you have it. Sorry this isn't more interesting, and sorry I haven't been writing for the few months. I just haven't quite felt like it. I'm trying to shake that feeling though. Check back to see if I managed. ;)

Happy June!

I'm now back in Paris, having arrived Sunday morning. And it's so hard.

My mom had a major stroke, with no warning. Five weeks beforehand we were hiking over waterfalls in Morocco, and now . . . I don't want to be too specific, as my mom is a very private person, so I'll just say that she's making progress, but it's slow, as apparently most strokes are. My mom is young and healthy, so we're hoping she'll make a full recovery, and she's in one of the best rehab clinics in the country. The problem is she's been there almost a month now, and she desperately wants to go home.

My trip to New York was originally going to be just over two weeks, and I extended it to four. Most of that time was spent at the hospital, from 3 to 8 hours a day. I was able to see most of my friends (Jeff and Josh, you're up first next time!), which was fantastic. I really felt supported and loved by all my friends who made time to see me, planned special events near the hospital so I could attend, and sent their love and prayers to room 110A. Every bit helped, so thank you all.

My trip was obviously not the vacation I was expecting it to be. Passover, instead of the elaborate, hours-long meal it normally is, was different but no less meaningful this year. We read the prayers and sang the songs and drank grape juice next to my mom's hospital bed. As the youngest, I sang the Four Questions and made everyone listen to me sing Chad Gadya in Aramaic. I really love that song. I got my hair cut, and went shopping at Old Navy, and attended my 10-year high school reunion (pics to come!), but my mind was always with my mom.

Making the decision to come back was really hard. And leaving her that day to go to the airport was one of the hardest things I've ever done, if not the hardest. My mom is my best friend, and I love her so much. I am truly blessed to have such a wonderful relationship with her, and to know that we love and respect each other both as mother and daughter, and as two women who can make each other laugh.

I talked to a lot of people about what to do: my therapist, my mom's friends, her doctors, my friends . . . and everyone told me that I have to continue my life. And my life is in Paris, as crazy and random as that may be. My dad actually flat out told me that I couldn't stay by saying, "I won't have your life turn into a Victorian novel, with you as the spinster who gives up her life to take care of her ailing mother!" To which I replied, "I'm only 28! I'm hardly a spinster."

Living at home with my dad, just the two of us, was really good. We had just spent a lot of time together in January, obviously, but I think it was important for both of us to have someone to say goodnight to. And to share dog-walking responsibilities! I swear, Teddy is the cutest thing in the world, and kept us both laughing every day. Look at my little muffinhead!

My sister and I worked very well together, sharing the jobs that come with a sick family member, while dad took care of insurance, doctors, and paperwork. Mom was never alone, due to our constantly emailing schedules back and forth. We alternated nights, so that each of us could get some time with our friends, and dad filled in when we both had plans. And now I left it all to them, and I feel so incredibly guilty.

I call a few times a day, but mom has up to six hours of rehab therapy every day, and in between she tries to grab naps. So even when I'm able to get hold of her, we can only talk for a few minutes. And I miss her terribly.

How do I do this? How do I just continue on with my life here, knowing that dad and Tessa are still at the hospital daily? How do I leave my mom to battle this without me? If anyone has advice, I could really use it right about now.

In exactly six days, I will begin my descent into the New York City area. I can't wait. The past month has been a crazy rollercoaster of highs and lows. I've gained hope that I might be able to stay, and gained frustration at the way things work. I am still positive I want to be here long-term, but I am ready for a break.

Here, in no particular order, are the things I most want to eat when I get home:

• a medium-rare cheeseburger, with cheddar and sautéed onions, from JG Melon's
• sushi from Roppongi
• shredded beef Schezuan and Moo Shu chicken from First Wok
• sesame noodles from Tang Tang
• curry seafood flat noodle soup from Bo Ky
• mom's lasagna
• mom's sweet-and-sour brisket with orzo
• mom's spaghetti with meat sauce
• mom's curried lima bean soup
• mom's Chinese noodles
• mom's gunky chicken
• a grilled cheese sandwich, made with white bread, Kraft singles, and served with Campbell's tomato soup
• Diet Dr Pepper
• a tuna melt, again with Kraft singles, and way too much (Hellman's) mayo
  
• the house salad at Cosí
• a mild chicken banh mi at Nicky's Vietnamese
• dates wrapped with bacon and baked brie in puff pastry at Salt Bar
  
• whatever it was that I ordered when Jeff and I had lunch at that random place in Chinatown

I think you can all see where my priorities lie. Screw my family and friends, and bring on the food!

Of course, all of my friends are brilliant and do amazing things with their time. But a few of them have exciting projects, new or otherwise, that I want to share. In no particular order . . .

Jon: The Lone Ranger and Tonto comic

My dear friend Jon Abrams has just published his first comic book. Jon wrote a very funny strip for our college paper, where I once made a very small cameo. But that has nothing to do with The Lone Ranger and Tonto! Jon wrote it with his college roommate, Brett, and considering I was dating their housemate for a year, I spent a lot of time eating their food and watching their TV. So now it's payback time! I've already bought my copy, and I live in France. Now it's your turn! Rumor has it that if you buy before the 19th, it's even more enjoyable. Seriously.

Click here to order online or visit your local comic book store.

Pauline: Santorini Super-8 Film Festival

Some of you know that I will be spending the month of June on a Greek island. More to come on that later, but the basic details are that I will be working and living at Atlantis Books, on the island of Santorini. My friend Pauline got me involved, and she is hosting a HUGE Super-8 film festival from June 20th-23rd that is going to kick ass. In my head it's going to be like Cinema Paradiso come to life.  Without the fire and blinding, hopefully. 

To submit your film, email Pauline here. It's going to be amazing, and you're all jealous.

Matt and Josh: American Madness

Matt and Josh have been writing American Madness for a while now. Because it seems to be important, I would like to point out that Matt has written more than twice as many posts as Josh has. They write about any and everything, from food to pop culture to politics and memes. The most impressive thing about the blog, in my greedy opinion, is all the free stuff they get. I need to get involved in the swag market . . . . Bonus points to anyone who can find my sole contribution, made sometime last summer, I believe.

Lin-Manuel: In the Heights

Okay, Lin hardly needs any more press. I mean, he's had a whole lot of articles in the New York Times already. But it's just so damn cool that one of my friends is on Broadway. I saw In the Heights off-Broadway last year, and cannot wait to go see it again. The music and dancing are incredible, and Lin has such a powerful stage presence that you can't help but smile the whole time.

Buy your tickets here!


Fun fact: Jon, Lin, and I all met when we were in a student production of a Maria Irene Fornes play back in 1998. See how far we've come!

I just voted on for the Democratic primary online. A few weeks ago I had registered with Democrats Abroad, a fantastic organization. I'm actually considering donating a bit of money to them, which is saying a lot as I'm really cheap. But they made it so extremely easy and pleasant to vote, and I think that's really important.

For obvious reasons, this vote is the most important one I've ever participated in. I've voted in every primary and presidential election since I was 18 (I think . . . it's possible that I missed a primary when I was living in Bologna, as that was February 2000) but this time I really felt some sort of power.

Normally, seeing as I'm a Democrat registered in New York, I don't really think my vote counts THAT much. I know, I know, "every vote counts." But honestly, New York is always going to be a blue state, so often I feel like mine may not count quite as much as a vote in a swing state. Still, this time around I really had to think long and hard about who I wanted to vote for, as the outcome this fall will probably change the world. And that's a lot of responsibility.

I've been talking a lot about politics in Paris, more so that I normally do. The French are big supporters of Obama, and are really into the fact that we have both a black and a woman candidate. I've had to do a lot of explaining about how Hillary and Barack are actually in the same party, and what a primary is, and what a caucus is . . . And it's interesting, because I've always thought of myself as rather apolitical. But, and I noticed this last year with my Terminales, I'm able to answer most of the questions about American politics that my students throw at me. I think a lot of that has to do with my excellent American History teachers in high school.

The past two weeks I've held debates in my favorite class of 4ème (the equivalent of 8th grade in the States). They've argued Obama versus Clinton, and got really into it. One kid showed up wearing an Obama t-shirt! That was pretty cool. And they actually taught me a lot. I loved how when someone asked me a question I didn't know the answer to, I could just redirect it at the class and one of the students would know. They researched everything: their schools, degrees, voting history . . . it was really great to see how involved they were.

So here's a thank you to the women who made it possible for me to vote. Corny, I know, but I'm feeling grateful.

I'm finally sure that I made the right choice by moving back to Paris. A lot of things have fallen into place this week:

• I'm able to sleep through the church bells from the really ugly church across the street
• my legs no longer give out at the 3rd floor, which is good since I live on the 4th floor (or 5th American floor) of a walk-up
• I made my third, and last for a VERY long time, trip to Ikea. I now have a coffee table and a bedside table, and never want to see another Swedish meatball
  
• I have an appointment (on Monday!) for my medical visit
• I know which boulangerie in my neighborhood has the best baguette, and which has the best pain au chocolat
• my French CV is in good shape
• I'm going on vacation in 10 days!

I'm very excited to have only 12 more hours of teaching before my two weeks of vacation. I'm settling into the teaching routine a bit more, and genuinely like some of my classes. Out of the 24 groups I have (12 classes divided in two groups each), I enjoy three, hate six, and don't mind the rest. I'm hoping the numbers balance out a bit, but can handle things the way they are.

My travel plans for Christmas break have changed a bit, and after five days in Belgium I'm going to visit Jamie in the Hague. I've been to Amsterdam twice, but have never really traveled around Holland, so I'm super-excited to see a bit more of the country. I plan on a day trip to Delft, for the Vermeer museum.

I also realized that if I leave for New York as soon as Spring vacation starts, I can be home for the seders. I'm so glad to know that I'll be there, since I really missed Thanksgiving and Chanukah this year. My guess is that I won't fast, since that would entail missing too many of my favorite New York/American meals, but I didn't last year either, since I was in Italy.

As soon as the sun comes out again I'm going to take more pictures of my apartment, now that it's more or less set up. It's been so grey and foggy and rainy that I have no beautiful light pouring in, and that's what really makes the place look special.

Another thing that's making me really happy is that I had a very good interview today at a major publishing house. They asked me to be a reader for their English language books, and to translate a middle-grade novel from French to English! I have to do a test run before I'm hired, but I'm fairly confident. So knowing that I'll (probably) be a bit busier and have some more money coming in takes some of the pressure off.

I'm totally zonked from waking up before 7 four days in a row, so am heading to bed. Tomorrow I am going to trim a Christmas tree* for the first time ever! Whoopee!

*it's not my tree. I don't believe in Chanukah bushes.

It has come to my attention that my blog is currently a bit depressing (thanks, Dan). It's true that I'm having a hard time right now. I got sick again this weekend, and despite seeing tons of people I still feel both lonely and bored. I'm hoping that this will pass once I get into a routine that involves doing more than just 12 hours a week of teaching.

I spent the whole morning today updating my French CV in preparation for sending it out to English/bilingual schools and publishing houses. Being productive helps. But I want to feel good, not just okay. So I'm posting some pictures of my last few weeks in New York, since looking at happy times makes me happy.

At Jenn and Nick's housewarming party:

If we're friends, you got my email titled "40 days and 40 nights," which I sent a week ago announcing my imminent move to Paris. If you're my friend and you didn't get that email, um, oops. Let me know so I can add you to the list, and, by the way, I'm moving to Paris.

Last year I spent Halloween on a terrible trip to Berlin, and this year I'll be spending it on yet another Air India flight to Paris. I have a whole lot to do in the next month, including packing, moving, getting my visa, figuring out if I've been blacklisted from all internet, phone, and utility companies in France because last year's internet company sucks ass, and saying goodbye to all my friends and family here.

Two nights ago I had a dream that I was back in Paris, walking by the Seine towards my home. I turned onto Rue Dauphine, and got this sudden rush of happiness, and thought, "this is right." I continued towards Boulevard St. Michel, where I entered lucid dreaming, and marveled at how everything was so realistic that I could see all the colors and bricks and signs that are actually in Paris. Of course, it wasn't all a perfect dream: I realized that I had forgotten to email my banker asking for a new carte bleue, and was stuck with no money.

So obviously my subconscious is trying to tell me that I’m making the right decision, but am still really nervous about it. That sounds about right.

I was on the phone with Jerice, my customer service agent at Aetna, for an hour the other day. It was an interesting situation because a) she was very patient, unlike French customer service reps, b) the call was free, unlike French customer service, and c) I’ve submitted my claims forms twice now, once by USPS and once by fax, and Aetna is still claiming they have no record of them. In France, while it would cost me a fortune to have rude, unhelpful customer service, I know that my medical bills are always handled quickly and fairly. I joked with Jerice that there must be a shredder next to the fax machine, and she said, “I’ve seen all kinds of things here.”

She also had a few hilarious lines, when telling me what to write on my fax cover letter such as, “That’s 'An Aetna Company. "An" not like “me an’ him,” but like “I ate en apple.’” And the classic, after I said I bought my contacts from visiondirect.com, "That's v-i-s-i-o-n-d-i-r-e-c-k, right?" Ah, Jerice, I'll miss your creative spelling.

In other news, my hours at Scholastic were just cut back to 3 days a week, due to budgetary restrictions. This sucks. I'm going to lose quite a hunk of money as a result, and am already stressed out enough about the state of my bank account. On the other hand, I'll have more time to prepare.

This weekend promises to be busy, with Chris and I going out of town on a mystery day trip tomorrow, and 3 play dates with friends on Sunday.

This morning I received an offer for an assistant position in Paris. I would be working at two colleges (middle schools) in the 12th. This is huge.

I have been hoping to be renewed for months. I have been hounding poor Mme. Dionis relentlessly, and she finally came through for me. I am on the verge of saying yes, and packing up my life in New York AGAIN, and moving to Paris AGAIN.

I feel excited and lucky and happy. But also not 100% sure. The thing is, the reasons I'm not sure are completely ridiculous. Things like, but I just paid $400 for a gym membership. And I just bought a new rug for my studio. And do i really want to give up my apartment for good? Cause I'm guessing my landlords wouldn't let me sublet again, although it can't hurt to ask.

Basically, all the reasons to not go to Paris are monetary. I can return the rug, and beg for some money back on my gym membership. I can sell my IKEA furniture to fund a vacation in Turkey. I can box up my books and put them back in my parents' basement, and go through my clothes more ruthlessly than I did last year. I can trust that what I really want to do is be in Paris.

I'm just scared. I haven't been a staff employee at a company since January 2006. So my resume, while largely focused on children's publishing, is spotty. I've worked at lots of great companies, but perhaps too many of them. If I go, my resume will suffer even more.

And yet . . .

I have no bridges to burn by leaving, since I'm technically just a temp. Chances are Scholastic could find a place for me again, whenever I come back to New York. And as cheesy as this sounds, I honestly feel like if I make decisions based on what makes me happy, then everything will work out. Like the universe (I know, I know) takes care of those who take care of themselves. And, as my friendly neighborhood stationery store owner said, "Plus, you'll be happy."

It's crazy, but a year ago today was my last night in this apartment. My subtenant from hell moved in on the 15th, and I left on the 18th. So much has happened in the past year, and I have changed so much.

And I feel so much more prepared than I did last year. The thought of all the paperwork hell is more ridiculous than intimidating. I could copy my visa application from last year. I already have my social security, CAF account, tax statement, bank account, etc. All I would have to do is get my CDS, cell phone, internet, and oh yeah, an apartment. But even that doesn't seem so daunting. I could crash at Anna's new place while I look for the perfect apartment. Finding an apartment will be much easier than it was last year. And there's always the possibility of living in my dad's friend's place rent-free for a bit.

I know this probably isn't the most interesting of posts, but I'm trying to work everything out in my head.  My gut is telling me to go for it, and move back. I don't want to teach collegians, but as my dad said, it's just for 12 hours a week. It's really not that big of a deal.

It's been great being back in New York. I love my apartment, I love seeing my family all the time, I love playing with Teddy, I love knowing exactly where I am when I get out of the subway. But it's not Paris. I didn't miss New York last year, and I don't think I'd miss it this year. But I do miss Paris.  I miss the quality of life there. I miss growing by leaps and bounds (and pant sizes!) and constantly trying something new.

There is the fact that I have a wonderful, large, fantastic network of friends here, and really very few in Paris. Obviously I'm ecstatic at rejoining my partner in crime. But I'm a bit nervous that she's my only friend, and that I might rely on her too much and she'll get sick of me and then I'll really be screwed. And then I realize that's not exactly true, that there are a few others. Not many, but a few, and they're good people. And I've done so much catching up with friends here this summer that I've rarely had a night alone. So that could hold me for a while. 

I want to do it. It just seems so ridiculous to be here for 4 months and then leave again. Anyone have any words of wisdom for my overwhelmed head? Would I be screwing myself over career-wise by taking another year (or more) off of New York publishing? Does it matter? Am I getting too old to do this? Gah.

It's raining. I'm sitting cross-legged on my bed, balancing my ibook on the windowsill to steal the WiFi from the tattoo parlor below me. I am relishing having a big-girl bed once again, covered with soft sheets, as opposed to the budget sheets I bought in Paris.

My return has not been very easy. Not only was there a roughly 35 degree difference (it's really hot here!) with zero acclimation time, but the air quality here is so bad I've had a constant headache. Having been born and raised in Manhattan, I somehow blocked out how dirty it is. Of course my parents' neighborhood is lovely and clean, but where I live there is garbage EVERYWHERE, the streets smell, and the handy man in my building walks around smoking and never mops.

The first couple of days I was incredibly upset to not be in Paris, and probably put my parents through hell with my whining. Granted I was completely exhausted by jet lag, but the change was very jolting and I definitely took it out on them. Sorry, guys. Now that I'm settled back into my apartment I feel calmer, but still find myself comparing New York with Paris in lots of little ways.

Some of the transition has been amusing, like the fact that I still cringe every time I have to speak English in public. I reach for the non-existent handles on the (truly disgusting) subway doors. I keep screwing up my text messages because I'm used to the set-up of my French phone. And every time I flush the toilet my hand instinctively goes to the top of the toilet, instead of to the side.

I've started catching up with friends, and am looking forward to seeing everyone else in the coming few weeks. But still, I miss Paris. I wonder how long this will last, or if in a week I'll be totally sucked back into my life here, and forget everything I'm longing for now, like warm croissants in the morning or the Eiffel tower twinkling from Anna's apartment.

I have decided to streamline my possessions, which is a huge step for me. I love pretty things: bowls, boxes, clothes, etc. Any of you who have been to my apartment on Orchard Street before know that it was pretty crammed, although I hope it still felt comfortable. But I've gotten rid of the garment rack and replaced it with an armchair, and will see if I can do without the dozens of dresses I normally keep around. They're in storage uptown, should I need them--or, more importantly, actually lose enough weight to fit into any of them.

Fresh Direct is coming by soon, with all new condiments and basics, and then I'll go downstairs to have dinner with Rachel and Matt. In the meantime, I'll continue to research ways to get back to Europe next year.