5 posts tagged “parents”

Oh, lordy.

I was trying to be positive in my post yesterday. I had a vague hope that this relationship might be long-term, and so I thought there was a chance that the parents would stumble across my blog at some point, and I didn't want anything damning on here. But at this point, I would be shocked if we make it through the week.

Why, you ask? Well, for starters, this morning the father took me aside and told me that it's not working out. I'd been here all of 40 hours at that point, including the 16 I was asleep. When I asked why, he said he didn't want to go into detail, but that he and his wife are not comfortable because there's too much of a disconnect between what they were expecting and what I was expecting.

Hm. I pointed out that I had only been here one full day, and that perhaps we could discuss their expectations and define my responsibilities. I've asked to do that several times, and each time they tell me that we'll take things as they come. But now they wanted to give me the boot after one day!

I reminded the father that I had canceled my vacation plans, rearranged my summer, and turned down other jobs for August in order to be available for them. He said that my leaving would be bad for them too, as they would have no one to help for the next three weeks. I suggested that instead of firing me, perhaps we could just discuss what they'd like me to do differently and that way no one will be shit out of luck for August.

He had to check that with his wife, who I guess agreed, because he came back to me with, "I'm still very confident that this won't work, but we'll give it a shot for you."

Gee, thanks, asshole.

So far, since being here, I've played hide and seek, I spy, started teaching T. how to swim, swum races with T. and her friend J., walked up and down countless stairs with A., painted and drawn pictures with T. and J., made play dough meals, read stories, applied stickers, created origami fortune tellers, and forced myself to lose at Memory. I've chased after A., helped T. get dressed, had a smile on my face the whole time, and still they're not happy. But god forbid they tell me why!

I think, honestly, what it comes down to is the same thing I experienced last summer. These people think they want a white, Ivy-educated au pair for their kids, but they don't. They want an immigrant (not an American immigrant!) woman who's just happy to have a job, and will clean up after the kids and eat in the kitchen. They want someone they can feel comfortable ordering around, not someone who's obviously their intellectual equal.

And it's not just how they treat me that's disgusting. They, and their many visiting friends (6 adults and 2 kids are the current guests) are just so rude to the servants. It's like a bad movie. One of them took a sip of sparkling water and spit it out, saying "this isn't Perrier, it's San Pellegrino." Oh no! Call the cops! Another one sniffs every dish before eating, and rejects most of them, saying that they're full of glutamate. They mock the food, the service, the plates and glasses, and insult the staff behind their backs. It's just revolting.

I'm also not allowed to play with A., ever. His mom is insanely attached to him, and won't give me the chance to get to know him and have him feel comfortable with me. If I try to play with him she'll pick him up. But yet this morning her husband said I need to make more of an effort with A. Get your stories straight, people! They obviously have no idea what they want. Last night the mom told me to eat with the adults, as long as I would get up and chase A. around during the meal. So I did. This morning her husband said that made him uncomfortable. So I said I would just eat with the kids. He said that he knew I would be unhappy with that. I suggested that perhaps he let me decide what would make me unhappy.

The kitchen staff obviously feel bad for me. I heard the cook say to her assistant, "c'est infernale, je n'en supporte plus!" which translates to "this is hell, I can't stand it any more!"

You and me both, sister.

My ensuite bathroom in Apt is the size of my apartment in Paris. That is not an exaggeration.

I also never have to make my bed, do laundry, cook, or even clean my bathroom. There is full maid service, every day. The house is actually too big, as it's really inconvenient for the kids. The gardens and grounds are immense. I haven't even begun to see all of it. There are no barriers or safety gates, so A. can run around everywhere and his mom is constantly panicking that he's going to get hurt. I have tons of scars from my early days, and I turned out fine. I definitely think I'm more easy-going about letting kids fall, as I think that's how they learn. It can be a bit frustrating to have to bow to a parent that wants to protect their kid from everything. It's just not possible.

Hopefully they'll loosen up a bit. In the meantime, I eat my breakfast in the self-serve summer kitchen, and then get waited on for lunch and dinner. The food is amazing, as the private cook is a former restaurant chef. I wouldn't mind if someone offered me a glass of wine with dinner, but I have a feeling I can sneak it once I'm "off duty."

Shower time!

My dad just sent me scans of a couple of photos of him and my mom from 1967, two years before they were married. This summer, August 31st, will be their 40th wedding anniversary. Which is insane. Forty years!!!

When they married, my mom was 19 and my dad was 25. When they started dating, my mom was in high school and my dad was in law school. My sister and I make fun of our dad all the time for being a creepy old man.

He likes to tell a story of how one day he borrowed his movie director friend's fancy sports car to pick up my mom from school. My mom was kind of a quiet girl, and despite the fact that she was prom queen (she maintains that her friends stuffed the ballot box), not overly popular.

So when she walked down the steps of Fairfax High and there was my dad, who was really quite gorgeous (dad, you're still extremely handsome, I'm not saying you're not!), leaning against this red convertible*, you can imagine the looks she got!

Anyway, here's them, two years before they got married. I've never seen this picture before, as an old friend just found it and gave it to them. People who know my mom well say that I look just like her. I wish!

Weren't they just amazing?
 
I'm sure I'm biased, just like parents who think their baby is the cutest thing in the world, but I can't stop looking at this photo!
 
*I'm not actually positive the car was red OR a convertible, but in my imagination it is.

EDIT: My dad just corrected me, saying: "it was a black convertible Jaguar XKE and my friend Tom Pollack, a law school classmate (later chairman of Universal Pictures) was driving, but it's true I was leaning against it waiting for mom." I think a black Jaguar convertible is just as good as a red one!

I've been in bed pretty much all day with a migraine. On top of that, I couldn't fall asleep last night until 4 am. I've been having a lot of problems sleeping lately. I can't fall asleep, and then when I finally do I have really vivid dreams that keep me from fully relaxing. I'm sure the caffeine in my migraine medication didn't help, either.

So I didn't leave the house today until after 6 pm, when I went for a walk on Rue Daguerre to get some air. I decided tonight I'd get some takeout sushi, and try one of the many Japanese places on my block. I've been cooking nonstop, and couldn't face the thought of chopping yet another onion in my current state.

After comparing prices at the three relatively similar Japanese places, I picked the cheapest one and went in. While studying the menu, the female owner starting SCREAMING at her kid, who was absolutely hysterical. She was telling him to eat more, and he was saying he couldn't eat any more, and she was just going nuts on him. I found the whole thing so upsetting that I handed the menu back to her husband, and said I couldn't eat there. He looked shocked, as if a mother verbally abusing her child in front of customers (or at all, for that matter) is totally normal, and told me to get out.

I went to the most expensive place after that (the price difference being all of about 1€50 for a menu), where I was greeted with a complimentary cocktail and given the choice between a free soda or free dessert. The fish looks very fresh, if a bit unimaginatively presented, and they gave me a little loyalty card. I'm a total sucker for those things.

So it looks like I definitely made the right choice, but I still feel awful about that little boy. I'm glad I didn't give them my business, but now I'm wondering if the kid will get in trouble for costing them a customer, even though in my mind it was the mother who was the problem, and not the kid.

Meh.

I was going to write this post last night, after a nice dinner with my cousins. Instead, I let Anna convince me to go to a club with her and some of her students, which turned out to be a very bad idea. I had mildly twisted my ankle in the evening, but didn't think it was a big deal. After two hours of standing and dancing, I was in pain and had to take a cab home. I woke up this morning, having slept with it propped up on a pillow all night, and realized that I'm fucked. I leave in under 20 hours for Croatia, and I can barely walk. I tried calling the two osteopaths I know here, but neither is answering their phone since it's a national holiday. Fuck fuck fuck. I also have no way to ice it, since my freezer is completely frosted over and I can't fit my ice tray in. I tried scraping off some freezer burn into a plastic baggy but it melts too quickly. Fuck.

Assuming that I'll be able to pack and get myself to the airport AND to my hostel, I'll probably spend the first two days in Dubrovnik recovering from all the strain. And I wanted to go hiking! and climbing over rocks on the beaches! and nude snorkeling! Fuck.

In other, less depressing, news, I have learned to knit. I was going to take a picture of my creation and post it, but it's all the way over there and I can't stand. So just trust me, Lee Ann is a very good teacher. So far I've only learned how to cast on and the knit stitch, but purl is coming and then I will be a knitting machine. Pics TK.

Last week's Parisist goodbye party was a big success, despite the unbelievably bad service at the bar. My favorite line, after we'd waited about 45 minutes to order more drinks, was when the waitress said, "What I don't understand is why you didn't order everything at once." Um. It's a second round. We ordered some drinks, and we finished them, and now we want more. So French.

Here's Michael giving me his sexy face, while Meg giggles at her incredibly long list of dirty French words:

And Anna and Rion, both with bizarrely wide-open mouths: Anna's parents were visiting this weekend, and the four of us went to Giverny on Friday. Yes, I've already been there, but I thought it would be nice to see the gardens 7 months later. The flowers were all completely different, obviously, and it was beautiful, but way too crowded. I would definitely recommend going back in September or October, since it's lovely and nowhere near as crowded. Here's Giverny in April:
Allen left Paris yesterday, so Sunday night Anna, Allen, Daniel and I went out for a last fling together, for cheap Indian food. And then yesterday was my last day teaching at school. I had only two classes, and one of those was a party. Leaving school was a bit anticlimactic, since none of the teachers I work with were around and no one really said goodbye. I just turned in my keys, cleaned out my cubby, and left. Meh.

I took a picture of the entrance:

And here are my two favorite classes, TES2 and 1ES2:
There's a few kids that I would definitely like to stay in touch with: Lea and Cecile, Clemence and Justine, Leslie and Elie, Marion and Esther, etc. I gave them all my email address, and some of them are going to be in New York this summer, so I really hope I hear from them.

Assuming I can leave tomorrow, which I think I will (it's just pain, right?), I'll be spending the next 11 days on the Dalmatian Coast of Croatia. Beaches, seafood, hiking, and lots of lolling. I love lolling.